January can be difficult after the Christmas festivities, and it can often leave people feeling tired and sluggish.
It’s normal to have some level of stress in your workplace. However, if going to work or just the thought of going to work makes you tired, depressed, or even physically ill – that’s more than just general work stress. It is something that is becoming more obvious within the block management industry with high levels of absenteeism and high staff turnover.
Do remember that feeling strong emotions is healthy but knowing how to regulate these emotions is important. Sometimes you must choose to take a step back, and regulate your emotions when things get overwhelming. This can difficult and requires a lot of practice and self-forgiveness.
Emotional regulation is accepting and working with your emotions instead of avoiding, ignoring or repressing them. Repressing emotions results in more stress, overwhelm and pain.
By regulating yourself, you are creating space for your emotions and what makes you a human being.
There are four important aspects of emotional regulation:
- Self-awareness: being aware of your emotional experience, your reactions, and your triggers.
- Self-management: the skills and abilities to regulate intense emotions and nervous system through behaviours.
- Social-awareness: knowing how to connect with others (communication, tone, and body language), and how to respond appropriately.
- Relationship Management: responding to other people’s emotions.
These four aspects combined help us stay grounded when things get too intense. Emotional regulation is a skill, so I encourage you to look at it as building a muscle and making it stronger through practice.
Some tips that we are finding useful at Fraser Allen Estate Management include:
- Identify what you’re feeling: use emotional language to label your emotional experience (I am feeling _______)
- Accept all your emotions, without judgement: give yourself validation (I feel this way because ______) and affirmation (It’s ok to feel _____)
- Make a choice about how to respond: practice ‘the pause’. Take time from the person or situation to think about your next steps. No need to act immediately. Always ask for time.
- Practice adaptability: Even if the situation is not ideal, ask yourself: what is possible in the moment that will help me feel better now?
- Tune into physical symptoms: notice your body. Focus on relaxing your muscles and releasing the tension.
- Adjust your physical state: change the temperature around you. E.g., Cold showers, icing your wrist, drinking warm tea, or moving your body.
- Give yourself some space: physically get out of the place that is overwhelming you.
- Know when to express yourself: you might think you have to verbally respond to every situation; but you don’t. You can choose silence or disengage from the situation when necessary.
- Consider the story you believe: question what narrative you are telling yourself that dysregulated you. Ask yourself: what is really true and what else could be true.
- Attention-shifting strategies: divert your attention by focusing on activities that will make you feel more grounded. For example, watching a show, taking a walk or talking to a friend.
- Imagine your best self: this is not an ideal person, it’s the ideal person you want to be. How would that person respond to this situation.
- Lean into the discomfort: accept that you are feeling dysregulated, triggered or activated. Acknowledge that the issue feels like a big deal and understand your emotions around it.
- Breathe: deepen your breathing. Breathe deeply through your nose and exhale through your mouth.
- Move: regulate your body and the effects of stress-hormones by moving your body. This is known as ‘somatic regulation’, you can dance, run, walk or stretch.
Good wellbeing also means looking after your body as well as your mind. We can all get wrapped up in everyday life but it’s important to take time for yourself to relax and rest. Stress can affect your mental and physical wellbeing, and long-term stress is not healthy for your body or mind.
It may also be tempting to reach for comfort or sugary foods to cheer yourself up from the January blues, however, eating foods high in fat and carbohydrates will wreak havoc on blood sugar levels. A healthy and balanced diet is good for your physical and mental wellbeing. Try including lots of fruit and vegetables in your diet, along with fatty oils such as omega-3 and 6.
Finally, social connectedness can play an important role in our wellbeing. It refers to the relationships people have with others as relationships give people support, happiness, contentment and a sense of belonging. When times are difficult and you are feeling down, try connecting with friends and family for support or join a club to spend time with likeminded people or volunteer for a charity.
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